Dell Customer Service For XPS M2010

“DELLightfull”

Chapter One: The Courtship
I’m not a computer guru. But I’m also not a complete fumble-fingers when it comes to computers either. I know enough to reboot (A PC that is) before calling for help. I’ve done things like re-seating internal hard drives, replacing memory, I have twice reloaded the operating system of a computer…all without generating any need for fire eradication services. I have owned several computers over the years. I remember my prideful feeling when my first Packard-Bell arrived at my house in 1993. It was a “screamer” for its time. I first used computers in college, learning basic programming on both an IBM AT and an Apple IIe. Having been in the work force for many years I was around for the days before computers, the transition into using computers. Gosh even great grandparents are now common users of the tool. I remember when the company I worked for switched from IBM “thinkpads” (what a wonderful product that was!) over to the new Dell lap tops. Dell had become the new powerhouse in computing and they did a smack-up job of bringing the cost of computing down so that virtually all of our employees used either a desk top or a lap top. My first Dell lap top was a clear step down from the Think pad. Now, what lead me to this conclusion you may ask? It goes back to a situation that occurred with my beloved Thinkpad. I was traveling from Baltimore home to Boston on business. I was on the tarmac entering a commuter jet making my way up the (outside) gang-plank into one of those tiny commuter jets . I had been struggling with my briefcase, looking for my boarding pass and made the mistake of not zipping the briefcase back up. I made the 4th step of the gangplank and my Thinkpad fell out, rolling end over end , hitting all 3 stairs treads and then resting uncomfortably on the concrete tarmac. I thought that would be it for my little black-colored friend with the “pencil eraser” mouse. Fellow travelers gathered about me on the tarmac in a sort of funeral gathering. I could hear murmurings from my fellow mourners along the lines of “it was a good computer, I have one just like it”. As soon as I got seated in the jet, I grimaced as I hit the power button of that poor, now banged-up computer. Much to my utter amazement, the power light clicked on and in short order I was getting an eye from the flight attendant that I needed to shut the computer down. The thinkpad worked fine…..looked like it had been through the tumble cycle of my dryer, but ran like a champ. Now fast-forward several years. My beloved thinkpad had become obsolete. It no longer had the oomph to run a new windows operating system that our company was transitioning to. It was like separating from a cherished girlfriend, I had a feeling that there would never be another like her. Reluctantly I let my Thinkpad go, and the battered old tool was replaced with a brand-spanking new, shiny laptop with an attractive grey finish. I opened it up. Hmmm, nice screen, bigger than the Thinkpad and even a bit clearer (ain’t technology grand?!?). It had a funky little pad that served as a mouse and still had a version of the “eraser” point mouse in the center of the keyboard. OK, I thought, this may not be so bad. And it wasn’t… for a while. As I adjusted to my new friend I gained faith in the Dell brand, even to the point of replacing my old Packard Bell with a new Dell desktop at home. And then it happened. I was using my laptop at work one day when the curser started to drift. At first I thought it was me, perhaps my finger was shaking in such a fashion so as to cause the drift. But shortly I realized that it wasn’t me, that my lap top had come with a feature I had not known existed. My curser liked to travel…on its own. All you had to do was give it a little encouragement, and it would head for the airport (or anywhere else other than where you needed it to be). At first it would just drift a bit when coaxed, perhaps an inch or two on the screen. But before long it became clear that it needed far more room to roam. Merely a light touch to the mouse would cause the curser to go into absolute conniptions, roaming at frightening speeds continuously across the screen over and over again. Reminded me of watching the Mike Douglass show as a kid when Mike would showcase a crazy daredevil on a motorcycle inside of a globe shaped steel cage traveling around and around and around. As is always the case with a PC, a reboot caused the spinning to stop (along with everything else you had planned on doing). Our IT folks were at first perplexed and asked if I had again rolled my laptop off an airplane (I had not). They had contacted Dell, and no, Dell had not seen any other cases of the traveling curser. Multiple fixes were tried including two new keyboards… still spinning. The IT folks were beginning to think it was my bad karma, and then other people in the company started to experience the same thing. It took a while, and several new lap tops, but eventually the problem went away. Dell never admitted to the cause of the problem, but being in the semiconductor industry we found out the real poop. One of their suppliers (a really, really big micro chip manufacturer) had a quality problem that caused a whole bunch of chips to be bad, causing intermittent issues with roaming cursers.
OK, so time marches on, and I don’t have too many more issues with my Dell laptop and a subsaquent upgrade. My home computer seemed to run pretty good and it came time to buy a second computer for my home. This time I had a very specific need. We were remodeling the first floor of our home, the kitchen in particular, and I wanted something that could be set up on our new kitchen bar area. My wife was skeptical, “I don’t want some contraption with wires and googaws hanging off of it cluttering up our new kitchen just because you want to net surf”. She hadn’t really taken to the internet yet, and based on the condition of the aforementioned up stairs computer, her concerns about cluttered wiring and such were real. Over time the addition of printers (standard and photo), scanners, routers, external hard drives, power strips and the like made the area behind our computer look like spaghetti that had been run through a salad spinner. “But honey, you’ll love having a computer in the, kitchen it will be a great place to access new dinner recipes”. Of course this was immediately taken to infer that her current recipes (stored in an ancient tin box, no doubt handed down from her great- great grandmother) were not adequate. This set up a quandary for me. I wanted a computer with a really big screen as my eyes weren’t what they used to be. I needed a machine that could handle my growing collection of digital photographs and potentially handle some home movie editing once I learned those skills. But, this same machine needed to be able to become invisible quickly on demand. I nosed around on the net. I looked at Think pads (now owned by a Chinese company), Hewlett Packard, Sony and then Dell. The lap tops I saw were too small for viewing my needs. The desk top models would have taken up too much space and don’t offer “the Harry Potter invisibility cloak” as an option. And then my friend at Dell (actually it was just the lady assigned to my call, I don’t even recall her name other than to say it was un-pronouncable) suggested the XPS series. At her advice I looked. And there it was. The perfect solution to my needs. An XPS M2010. It was a very large lap top (notebook??) with a crystal clear 20” screen. Perfect for my eyesight. It could be had with 2 huge (for the time) 250Gb hard drives, perfect for my photo and movie collection. The nice lady assured me it would be able to handle my computing needs and because of a cool new operating system just out from Windows, that equipped with this state-of-the-art operating system it would “run like the wind”. I fell in love, a love that caused me to overlook the astounding price of this work of computer art. That I spent well over $4300 for a home computer may cause some of you to snicker. I wash flush with cash from the second mortgage to pay for the home restorations. So call it what you will, perhaps an impulse buy. I bought this unit with all the extras, including an ”extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in- home service guarantee”. My friend at Dell (actually this was a different person, but had an equally un-pronouncable name) assured me that the XPS M2010 was the top of the line, and in the extremely unlikely event that I’d need some sort of service, Dell would quickly expedite a top notch service professional to help me with whatever I needed. The warrantee also include anytime call-in help that was free (in my niavate, I didn’t realize that calling a company for help with the product you just bought from them actually costs!). I was sold! Out came my credit card and the deal was done. My friend (still the same one this time) told me that Dell would custom build this computer just for me. I felt so special. Kind of like when your grandmother admires your latest finger paint “masterpiece”. Anyway, a week or so later the box arrived. At this point after hearing me hype this up, my son and even my wife was looking forward to seeing the new family heirloom. I followed the directions, got the computer running and even had to call a new friend at Dell who helped me get the new computer to talk to my home network. That phone call along with calls back and forth to Dell and my cable supplier took a combined 4 hours. But no matter, I was still basking in the aura of this new device. Then I hit the “on button’. And waited….. and waited…. and waited….. Wow, several minutes passed before I saw that new opening screen that was the “new cool operating system from windows” now known throughout the PC world as Vista. I re-booted a few times to see if the product had wedding night jitters or something like that. Nope. It took several minutes (3 to 5) to boot up and less distressingly to me, nearly the same amount of time to shut down. I called my friend at Dell (this person’s name was Mahesh) and they listened to me and explained that the Vista system because of its immense capability did in fact take “a bit longer” to start up that some systems, but for an additional $150 I could upgrade my memory from 2 “gigaburbs” (that is what is sounded like he said, I swear) to 4 gigaburbs, that would make the system “run like the wind”. After spending more on thei computer than my parents spent on their first house, I decided to hold off on this, and also decided not tell my wife about that exchange. I’d live with the slower speed, heck I had Vista, the latest and greatest! My wife wouldn’t know the difference. Ahh but I was wrong again.. she noticed it right away “how come this thing is slower than my computer at work? I explained to her the virtues of vista that my friend at Dell had shared with me. She didn’t buy it. But we got used to the slow speed. And the fact that many of our favorite software programs (including those sold by Microsoft!) did not function well with Vista. We lived on with only 2 gigaburbs of memory. The convenience of having a computer in our main living area became well accepted with my wife was now net surfing nightly on our computer. And as promised, when we had guests over, I could very quickly (after the operating system shut down that is) close up the computer and put it away. Very cool.
Chapter Two: Still Friends
A year goes by with a few burps along that way that caused calls to our friends at Dell (I had quite a few friends there by now). Each time they were able to get me back up and running. Albiet after several hours on hold, being bounced from one group to another.
Then our nightmare began.
It was March 20, 2009. I got a call at work from my wife.
“It’s black”.
“What’s black honey?”.
“The computer”
“I know dear, Dell didn’t offer it in colors like that other company, they only come in black”
Clearly frustrated I hear a pause and then “The SCREEN is black”
I rushed home from work and found out that it was true- our “heirloom” had gone dead- or at least the flat screen.
All of the rest of the fancy blue lights continued to shine and flash, but the screen was in fact dead.
I re-booted a couple of times, tried plugging and unplugging the computer to no avail.
Having reached the extent of my computer repair skills I called Dell’s service line. Because I had bought the “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in-home service guarantee” I was able to supply an express service code number that allowed me to jump into a service queue that I was “eventually “ told was, much shorter than those who had not bought the “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in home service guarantee”. After 15 minutes of being on hold I was routed in express fashion to “Bjorn”, my newest friend at Dell. He asked me again for my express service code and then “can you provide me with a phone number to call in the event we should be inadvertently disconnected?’. Sure I thought, that’s a great idea and very nice of him to think ahead. I felt pretty special- even if Ma bell had a missfunction I could feel assured that “Bjorn” my friend from Dell would call me back. After speaking with Bjorn for a short time, I could tell pretty clearly he was not from Sweden. In fact I guessed that if I asked him the name of his favorite “ABBA” song he would have no idea what I was talking about. I chose not to bring up the subject. Bjorn had me try several things, most evolved around re-booting the computer. He had me pull out and re-install the battery. Nothing worked. Bjorn suspected that my video card was overheating and boiling over. To lighten things up I suggested that I could add water to the radiator if he thought it would work. I quickly realized that Bjorns’ familiarity with automotive mechanics was equal to his knowledge of ABBA. No more attempted humor with my friend Bjorn. He quickly came to the same conclusion as my wife. The screen was black and was likely to stay that way. He suggested that I send the computer to his service center for repair. I was very concerned about trusting my new heirloom to a package handling service, but Bjorn put me at ease. He would send me a big box and a sticker to apply to the outside of the box that would rout my computer directly to the service center. He then said something that should have set off alarms in my head, “we do it all the time with no issues” . Hmmm- “they did it all the time”I thought, —that’s an interesting statement. I tried once again to save my little electronic device from the disgrace of being sent to the proverbial woodshed. “But Bjorn” (we where buds now, on a first name basis) I bought the “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in-home service guarantee”. I thought that meant that a service man would come to my house to fix the computer. I had visions of “Bill the TV Man” from my youth, that magician who would come to our house periodically to calibrate out TV tubes and demagnetize the callitoctic defragmentor (I think that’s what he called it). Bjorn assured me that attempting to repair the overheating video card was not something that should be attempted in the home, even by a trained professional. Also, he added, the service technician at the repair center could look over the whole system and make sure all was running properly. I asked “do you think that could make it run faster”? I think I was already on hold, I never got an answer from Bjorn on that. When Bjorn did return from hold he had a tracking number (seven digits) and a DPS number(ten digits) and a case number (nine digits) for me to reference our call and the service plan. I was told this would allow me to track my package, and reference back to our conversations when I called my next new friend at Dell. After subsaquent calls to my friends at Dell I figured out that these numbers where basically randomly chosen numbers that apparently had something to do with the office lotery they had running there and would provide no reference to any events past or present. Bjorn told me that I would get periodic calls from the Dell Service center keeping me up to date on the progress of my service. I thought to myself, aha the perks of buying the “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in home service guarantee”.
Well, the box from Dell arrived a few days later. I packed up our computer and delivered it in person the local FEDEX office. Even though I live in a pretty safe, crime- free neighborhood, I just couldn’t leave the box on my doorstep for a pick up. I only live about 15 minutes from the nearest Fedex pickup office.
After several days I did NOT get a call from my friends at Dell giving me an update on the status of my computer. I called them back but unfortunately could not reach Bjorn. He must have taken a day off. I provided my Tracking, DPS and case numbers. No one could find Bjorn, but after I gave them my address and phone number they put me on hold. In the mean time a nice fellow talked to me about extending the length of my “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in home service guarantee”. Although it was still good for another year I could add an additional year for $190, and as a special deal I could extend for 2 years for $289. My thought was to get through the current black screen issue and then consider more warranty coverage. After about 20 minutes on hold, yet another new friend at Dell informed me that my computer was ‘in process”. Where I come from that translates to “we have no idea”. Despite my concern, a couple of days later on June 3, my computer arrived back at my house compliments of FEDEX. I quickly removed it from the box and powered it back up. I found an official –looking piece of paper from the Dell Service center in Memphis, Tennessee that suggested that the “CORRECTIVE REPAIR ACTION” was associated with the video card. After and even longer wait than normal it became obvious that the screen was again alive and all was well. Until I went to use the mouse. If you are not familiar with XPS 2010, let me inform you that this model comes only with wireless keyboard and mouse- no wires. If either does not work you need to “pair” them to the computer. I looked the process up in the manual, it’s not hard. You press a secret button on the side of the computer until a certain blue light on the top of the computer starts to flash. You then press a button on the mouse until a blue light on the mouse begins to flash. Doing this a dozen or two times usually results in the mouse working. Not this time. I got into the tools menu of the computer and tried to fix the problem. Vista insisted that I needed a pass key. Although Vista allowed you to bypass the pass key, it strongly recommended that I not do that or the end of the world as we know it could be accelerated. I had no pass key, but I also wasn’t packed and ready yet for armaegedon. I checked all the DPS, service code, case, tracking, and social security numbers I could think of. I even tried my bank ATM code. Nothing worked. So I called Dell, provided my express service code number and an emergency call back number. After 20 minutes of holding I make a new friend at Dell. Nathan immediately puts me on hold, but I only wait 4-5 minutes or so. He apologized for the delay and asks for my express service code and an emergency call back number which I provide. I tell him that my computer just came back from the service center and that the wireless mouse won’t pair and that the computer is now running very slow. He focuses on the mouse and asks me to go to the tools folder where Vista again asked for the pass key. Nathan asked me for the pass key. I told him I didn’t have one. He said to bypass the passkey. I warned him about armegaedeon, but he seemed unconcerned. I grimaced, held my breath and pressed the bypass key. No armegeadon, but retrying to pair my mouse was successful!! I thanked Nathan and asked him about the system being even slower since being returned from the service center. He explained that because of Vista’s immense capability did in fact take “a bit longer” to start up that some systems, but for an additional $80 I could upgrade my memory from 2 “gigaburbs” to 4, that would make the system “run like the wind”. I thanked him for the nice offer, but told him I’d hold off for now. Of course my wife immediately noticed “hey, is this thing running even slower now?”. Yup, but the mouse works and the screen isn’t black.
All was well for exactly 16 days (except for the speed of the system of course). Then on Friday, the 19th of June it happened again. The screen went black. Just in case, I ran out to the trash to retrieve the box used for the last trip to the service center. I called Dell and provided my express service code and emergency call back number to the operator. After 15 minutes on hold, I was connected to my new friend there, Irma. She immediately asked for my express service code and emergency call back number. I thought, these people ought to talk to each other! In any event Irma had me try a few things, re-boot several times, pull out the battery, the usual stuff. She said that she thought it was either the video card or the power cord. I had a hard time believing that a power cord could cause this problem but—what do I know, clearly Irma was the expert, and I wouldn’t be paying for any parts anyhow. She said that because I had the “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in home service guarantee” she would send the replacement parts to a local repair man who would come to my home to install them. I told her that the video cards had been recently replaced and that Nathan had told me that this couldn’t be done in the home, that the system needed to be sent to the repair facility. She seemed unaware that the system had so recently made the journey, I provided her with the case, tracking and DPS numbers Nathan had given me. I asked her if she could check with Nathan. She had not heard of anyone named Nathan, and that she was quite confident that the service she was suggesting could easily be performed at my house. She left me with case and dispatch numbers should I need to reference the call. I had bonded a bit with Irma, and I truly hoped she won that nights’ office lottery with my numbers.
On June 23rd I got a visit from my new friend from Dell, his name was Dave. Nice young fellow, eager to please. He was the first friend from Dell who did not ask me for my service coder or emergency call back number. Of course he was more or less captive in my house, so the callback number wouldn’t be needed. He opened up the box of parts he had received from the service center. He took one look at the power cord and wondered aloud ‘why would they send me one of these?”. I started to talk about the call with Irma, but he was ready to move on. He flipped the computer over, opened up the cover and started removing parts. He gave all outward appearances of knowing exactly what he was doing. He replaced the video card, got all the pieces back together, with none left over (no way I could have accomplished that). He powered up the computer and after a fair amount of technical gymnastics, got the screen to again light up. He ran some diagnostics and had concerns about my hard drives. He couldn’t always ‘see them”. He actually went through several iterations of shutting down the computer, flipping it over removing the covers, and taking out and swapping the hard drives. Eventually he could “see” both hard drives, but had “concerns about their health”. He also noticed that I only had 1 gigaburb in the system. I was sure I had bought 2 gigaburbs. I pulled out my original paperwork, and sure enough I had paid for 2 gigaburbs. The only thing I could think of was that the service guys in Memphis had somehow lost a gigaburb on me. David instructed me to call Dell about the missing gigaburb but in the meantime wanted to run an “extended diagnostics test” which would include an analysis of the suspect hard drives. He said it could take anywhere from 1-1/2 to 3 hours. He launched the test and left. I watched the diagnosis test working its way through the computer. It took about an hour to get through the first hard drive. Then it bogged down. I checked it several times throughout the evening. I figured this might be the hard drive that has most of my files on it, so I just let it go when I went to bed. When I woke up in the morning, it was still chugging. I had to go to work so I just let it keep going all day. When I got home from work it was still not done. At 5:30 pm I called Dell. I was asked for my service code number and an emergency call back number. I waited 18 minutes (I was now keeping close track of my time) at which time I was connected to my new friend at Dell, Jannel who immediately asked me for my service code number and an emergency callback number in case we got disconnected. Jannel had me stop Dave’s test and instructed me on how to run a “pre-boot assessment”. This involved tapping the F12 keys multiple times while re-booting the computer…an excerise not unlike rubbing your stomach and tapping your head simultaneasously. WhiIe we waited for the test to do it’s thing, Jannel made small talk by providing me with case and dispatch numbers to reference our call. I continued on the phone with Jannel, with her periodically checking back with me until it happened……the line went dead. I realized that now all of our preparation for potential of an emergency disconnect would finally pay off. Jannel would, no doubt, shortly realize we had been disconnected and would call me back. So I waited. And waited. And waited. I was getting a bit impatient- what if Jannel had gone on break? But, If I called back to Dell I would have to repeat the connection process and if Jannel called my phone it would be busy—I was stuck. So I waited a bit more. Finally as 7:00 pm rolled around I gave up on the concept of Jannel calling me back and contacted Dell. I was asked for my express service code and an emergency callback number. I waited on hold for 12 minutes at which time my new friend at Dell, Maria who asked me for my express service code and emergency call back number. I began to explain my situation. She asked several questions that seemed very repetitive of those just reviewed with Jannel. I asked her to check with Jannel….silence. No Jannel to be had. I then provided the case and dispatch numbers. They must have already pulled the office lottery for the evening as Maria had no use for these numbers. I proceeded to go though my entire scenario dating back to May. She listened intently and I could hear her typing. I assumed she must have been recording the particulars of my case- which I thought would be a good thing should I have to make any new friends at Dell to get this resolved. Maria had me get into “safe mode” which sounded like a good thing. Maria decided that it would be best for me to talk to Christina. She transferred me to Christine who asked for my express code and emergency call back number. Despite providing the case and dispatch numbers provided by both Jannel and Maria I had to recount my computers life history to Christina (who gave me a service request number). I worked with Christina trying several things. She put me on hold several times to confer with her supervisor. The last time she put me on hold, she must have hit the wrong button. We were disconnected. I had spent nearly 4 hours this evening either on the phone with Dell or waiting for them to call me back. It was 9:45 PM. I waited for a half hour for a call from Christina. Or Jannel. Or Maria. Or Irma. Hell, I’d have been happy with Daisy Duck at this point. I was tired and frustrated. I went to bed, but was willing to take a call no matter what time they called back. I went to work and called Dell as soon as I got home. I was asked for my service code number and emergency call back number and then after a spell on hold was transferred to my new friend at Dell, Dennis. He asked me for my express service code and an emergency call back number in the case we were disconnected. I made him “double pinky swear’ to call me back if we got disconnected. He agreed. I provided the various case and dispatch numbers I had previously received (which if compiled in tiny font, would fill the phone book of a medium sized city). The numbers where no help to Dennis, I went through the computers history yet again with him while he typed. At this point, my screen was working, however my computer was short a gigaburb, ran slow, and the mouse would not pair. Dennis had me connect him to my computer so he could monitor what was going on. This was pretty cool. Reminded me of the old driving school cars that had steering wheels and brake pedals on both sides of a car so the instructor had a chance to save his own life if the student attempted to drive off a bridge. Dennis confirmed that I only had 1 gigaburb and that I had paid for 2. He had me flip the computer over, remove one of the covers and look to see if both of my gigaburb boards where in the computer. They were both there but I noticed that one was in its socket the other was not. Dennis talked me through the process re-seating the gigaburb board. We were able to do a check that confirmed that I was now back to a full 2 gigaburb. He told me that for a special sale price that I could update from 2 gigaburbs to 4 gigaburbs- only $68. If I did that the computer would “run like the wind”. I told him I’d think about it after we got the problems at hand resolved. Dennis then did some sort of “bios” (or was it biopsy?) test that had the main effect of disabling my wireless keyboard. Nothing we did would fix the problem. Dennis summsrized that my computer needed a new Bluetooth module, a replacement keyboard and a “start uptime replacement”. I had started the night with a limping but functional computer. 2-1/2 hours later it was dead. Dennis told me he would send a service technician to my house with the replacement parts, provided me with service requisitison, case and dispatch numbers.
Four days later I met my new friend from Dell, Abdul. He was a very pleasant man with a soothing Carribean Island accent. He had difficulty locating the front door of our house, preferring at first to knock on the windows of our garage doors. I happened to have heard this and dispatched him to our front door and into the house. His first comment upon seeing my heirloom was (and I kid you not) “wow, that sure is a big computer”. It became painfully clear that Abdul had not only never worked on an MS2010, he had never seen one. The first hurdle we had was the new mouse that Dell had sent. Abdul could not figure out how to remove the cover on the mouse that housed the batteries. I did it for him. I was trying not to look over his shoulder, but that was getting tough. I could tell he was trying to pair the mouse but had no idea where pairing button on the computer was. I showed him and of course the mouse would not pair. He seemed perplexed and I offered up that perhaps we should replace the blue tooth module prior to trying to pair the mouse, as one would need a functioning blue tooth module to have any chance of paring . He seemed agreeable to that strategy but then we discovered that the blue tooth module had not come in the box of service parts. He was obviously distressed that the part had not been sent and applogized profusely on behalf of Dell. I was actually relieved. I had been working on a plan in my mind of how I could diplomatically get him away from my computer. I didn’t want him going anywhere near the insides of my computer, and this allowed me a gracious way out. Abdul called into the service desk to inform them of the missing Bluetooth adapter. I could hear them discussing the problems with my computer. They seemed to be going back and forth. Abdul put the phone aside and said that the service desk wanted him to re-install the operating system. Now I mentioned up front that I’m no computer geek, but even I know the significance of an operating system re install. All files get removed, all software on the system needs to be reinstalled. Kind of like a full motor and transmission replacement of a car- not something to be taken lightly. I flat out said no. Abdul communicated this to the desk and there was some attempted negotiations back and forth, but I held my ground. The service desk relented and agreed to send out a blue tooth card to replace the one that Abdul and I never got. Abdul organized his tools and boxes and such, we exchanged pleasantries, I wished him well, which despite the situation I truly meant. He’s a nice fellow who may do well someday as a librarian. Or a high school guidance counselor. Abdul was nice enough to give me a phone number that somehow went direct to the person he had been talking to on the phone. As soon as I was able to merge Abdul with his car I ran back in the house and called the number. I spoke with my new friend at Dell, Elizabeth. After exchanging service code numbers and such she was able to make the connection between my just-completed service call and Abdul. As gently as I could I asked her to pleeeeease not send Abdul back. I reiterated several times that I thought he was a swell guy but not someone who should work on my computer. She asked for details, I mentioned the battery and paring incidents. She clearly sounded distressed and promised that I would not be seeing Abdul again for a service call.
Three days later on July 1, David, the same fellow who had made the first visit to my house arrived on-time on my door step. I was very relieved to see him. He opened his box of parts and immediately proclaimed them to be for different model of computer. That would have been a handy bit of information to have before he left the service office that day, but no mind. Just to check himself, he opened up my computer, and sure enough the parts they sent would never fit in my computer. He called back to Dell on his private line (they didn’t ask him for a service code number or emergency call back number!). There was a great deal of debate going back and forth between Dave and the service desk. They wanted him to re install the operating system before they’d send new parts. Without any encouragement from me he refused and after additional debate they reached detante and agreed to send replacement parts.
Six days late on July 7, Dave showed up again with a new blue tooth card and mother board , this time the correct ones. He installed both new parts and neither helped the situation. Neither my mouse of keyboard would pair. Dave called back to the service desk they suggested that the operating system would need to be re-installed. Dave gave me some brief instructions on how to go about this, but that I should do a back-up. He left.
I borrowed a wired keyboard and mouse from work and did a full back up onto my remote hard drive . On July 9 I reinstalled the operating system. The system got no worse, but also got no better. I called Dell. I supplied my express service code and emergency call back number. I was transferred and remained on hold until my new friend at Dell, Pete talked to me, of course asking for an express code and emergency call back number. I knew already that I’d have to give Pete my computers history since March and was prepared. After my 30 minute history spiel, Pete said that simply installing a new keyboard should fix the problem. Pete wanted to send out a technician to replace my keyboard. I balked and mentioned that we had been through with keyboards, mouses and such. Pete asked to put me on hold so he could confer with someone else. After 15 minutes on hold where I was praying not to get disconnected, I was linked to my new friend at Dell, Justin, Justin announced himself as Pete’s Supervisor, has read my case and was going to personally handle it going forward. Wow, I thought, someone was going to take charge and look out for me, thank God I had bought the “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in home service guarantee”. Justin explained the he personally was going to authorize a “system exchange”. A “completely tested replacement” for my ailing machine. I thought outloud, well of course it would be tested, doesn’t Dell test all its’ new systems? There was a noticably pregnant pause and Justin informed me that I would not be getting a completely new system per se. Rather one that is refurbished. He continued that a refurbished system has all it’s innards replaced, reassembled and fully factory tested. My thinking at this point is that I’d settle for my old, busted up thinkpad at this point as long as I got something that would work. Justin left me with a “SR number” and said that I’d be getting my replacement system in 5-10 days (that was July 9) and in the meantime I’d be getting a tracking number to monitor the progress of the replacement machines’ journey to me.
On the 11th day, July 20th I called Dell. After supplying my SR # and an emergency callback number I was connected to my new friend at Dell, Mark . Mark asked for my SR number and an emergency callback number in the event we got disconnected. He looked up my number and could find not tracking information. He put me on hold to look further. We were disconnected. I did not wait for Mark to call me back, I recalled Dell and was asked for my SR number and an emergency callback number. I was connected to Nino who , you guessed it, asked for my SR # and emergency callback number. I thought about supplying the phone number for the White House but thought better of it. Nino confirmed that there was no tracking information on my replacement system, but could see my order information in the system. He told me that I would get a call directly from a dispatcher with tracking information in the next several days. He left me with a dispatch number, I assumed it was lottery night at the service desk again.
I never heard from that dispatcher, but the replacement computer did arrive on July 22. We removed it from its box. The system was clearly used. It was scuffed, dirty, had dings and wore a “remanufactured” sticker prominently on its’ hull. The one I had sent back was meticulously cared for and could have passed for brand new (save for the fact that it didn’t work). I had to re-install all the software not associated with the operating system. It took literally dozens of tries to get the keyboard pared but eventually it worked. And so it went for a while, and then……
Chapter Three: Where did the love go?
Things went reasonably well until around August 2009. The tipping point occurred when my first 250 GB internal hard drive filled up causing me to access the Second internal drive, a twin of the first. I transferred all of my photos and movies from drive A to drive B. Right away I realized that the Vista Photo Viewer became completely discombobulated. It only saw about 1,000 of the 12,000 or so photos in drive B, and none of the movies. I messed around as best I could. One day I even got the software to view more (but not all) of the photos. I have no idea how I did that. But no matte,r as soon as I powered down that day, it went back to only seeing the 1,000 photos. We went on vacation and I put the problem in the back of my mind until we returned. Upon powering up the computer and attempting to access drive B, my family got its’ first exposure to the dreaded “Blue Screen of Death” or BSOD to those (and I now know there are many) in the know. The BSOD is a condition whereby you are working away on your computer, the screen goes black for a minute, and then you see a bright blue screen with a long warning that something very, very bad has happened and that you need to proceed right to confessional at your local church (or something like that). The good news is that after about 10 minutes of the blue screen with some occasional flashing and buzzing sounds, your computer will restart itself. Of course anything that you were working on that had not been saved was gone. At first we saw the BSOD infrequently, then it happened more often (like every hour). It was at this point I realized the connection between accessing the Drive B and the occurrence of BSOD. As an experiment, I stopped trying to fix my photo access issues and left drive b completely alone. The occurrences of BSOD went away. As soon as I accessed drive b again , BSOD again visited us. In addition to all this the shut down and boot –up times for the computer became very long, upwards of 10-12 minutes each direction, some nights the computer would not shut down at all on it’s own. The computer made an odd clicking sound when it finally did boot down—sounded like the old “clacker” the nun used to use in parochial school to calm down an unruly class. I was still running a wired keyboard and mouse as I couldn’t get the wireless components to pair.
I didn’t want to do it. I dreaded doing it. I put it off for 2 weeks, but I finally broke down and did it on Columbus Day, October 12, 2009. I called my friends at Dell. I provided my express service code and emergency call back number. After 16 minutes I was connected with my new friend at Dell, Gorem. He asked me for my express service code and emergency call back number in the case we were inadvertently disconnected. Based on my experience from the previous spring, I was of course at-the-ready with this information. Gorem mentioned that my extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in- home service guarantee would be up in July of 2010 and would I be interested in buying an extension, 1 year for $190, 2 years for $289. I thanked him and told him that I’d consider it once we got through this problem. Gorem asked me a battery of questions and suggested that I was having problems with my OS (that’s tech talk for Operating System) and drivers (I have one of those in my golf bag, can’t hit it worth a lick though). He suggested I be transferred to an “expert”. He kindly passed me along where I waited on hold for 12 minutes at which time I was connected to Manuel where I provided my express service code and emergency call back number. Manuel asked me for my express service code and emergency call back number in the case we were inadvertently disconnected. He asked what my situation was. I asked him if he had talked to Gorem? He had not, so I had to repeat my computers history again. We went through a series of transactions where he would ask me a question, get an answer then put me on hold until he could get back to me with yet another question, then repeat the process including being put on hold. This went on for 37 minutes in the middle of which Manuel asked if I had considered extending my “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in- home service guarantee”. He was about to quote me the price and I told him I was aware of that offer as well as the offer for more gigaburbs, but that I really needed to solve the problem at hand. There was silence at first then he put me on hold, no doubt to dispatch yet another question for me to answer. Finally after a few more questions that seemed to be heading in some undecipherable direction Manuel announced that he had diagnosed the problem. He was thoroughly convinced that I had a software problem. It was most likely an OS issue. Having heard this some 1 hour and 26 minutes earlier from Gorem, I was thinking we may be getting somewhere- at least there was consensus. Then my sense of common sense took over. I recalled for Manuel my experience with XPS 2010 system #1, and how my Dell friend David (or was it Irma, or Mahesh?) had instructed me to reinstall my operating system back in July after which it became obvious that the operating system was not the problem, thus the need for a system exchange. Manuel stuck to his guns, he was completely sure this was a software problem. Ok, I said, I’ll go down this path, what the heck. I presumed that Manuel was going to instruct me on how to re-install my operating system. But he announced that he was not able to do that, because this was a software problem he needed to transfer me to the “Advanced Software Support” department. We were exchanging pleasantries and I asked him if he thought I needed to do anything like a data back up before making the connection with them. “Oh no “ he said, you should be all set and in good hand with them and then he slipped in, (in a very low voice) “you’ll need to have a credit card handy”. I could tell his finger was itching to hit the transfer button, but I caught him just in time. “What would I need a credit card for?”. Clearly disappointed that he’d not escaped quick enough he mentioned that the “advanced Software Support” was a “pay service”. I asked Manuel to check his records. Certainly underneath the lines and lines of typing I had heard my various friends at Dell inputting into my service record over the last several months he would find that I had bought the “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in- home service guarantee”. I went on that my friend at Dell with the unpronounceable name had assured me that the XPS M2010 was the top of the line, and in the extremely unlikely event that I’d need some sort of service, Dell would quickly expedite a top notch service professional to help me with whatever I needed. The warrantee also include anytime call-in help. I heard a bit of a sigh (or was it a snicker??) from Manuel. He said that my “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in- home service guarantee” only covered hardware. Because this was a software problem, I wasn’t covered. I was sure this couldn’t be true. And even he wavered a bit on his assuredness but he was mainly interested in depressing the transfer button on his phone as quickly as he could. I swear I could hear his finger touching the button, twitching. We discussed how sure he was that this was a software problem a few more times. When I realized that he had stopped putting me on hold to get additional questions from whomever was behind the curtain in his office, it occurred to me that Manuel was done with me and that I would not get any more help from him. I reluctantly agreed to be transferred. For the very first time in all my dealings with my friends from Dell, I was NOT asked for my express service code and emergency call back number. It pretty quickly became crystal clear why. If they couldn’t sell me a software warranty or arrange to pay by the hour for service, they had no intention of calling me back. The first person I spoke to did not give a name, “hello, this is the advanced software support group”. Then silence. I asked if the unnamed person on the end of the line wanted my express service code and emergency call back number? “that won’t be necessary, how may we help you?” in a voice that seemed a combination of James Earl Jones and the guy who sells slurpees to Homer Simpson. “Well”, I explained, “I had just been transferred here by Manuel, you don’t by chance know him do you?. “No I’m afraid I don’t know Manuel, how may I help you?”. I once again explained my situation to Mr. Slurpee. He responded that I would need to provide him charge card information in order for him to help me. I sad that can’t be true, “here’s my express service code, you will see I bought the “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in- home service guarantee”. Long silence. I was most distressed to learn that Mr. Slurpees’ interpretation of “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in- home service guarantee” agreed with Manuels’. “That doesn’t cover software” was his baritone response. I explained that just couldn’t be true, that I had paid over $4300 for the top of the line Dell Computer, that it now would not run, and that I had the “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in- home service guarantee”. Surely there must be something that could be done? This discussion went on for 22 minutes, during which I calmly asked Mr. Slurpee to try to see my side of this situation, that I couldn’t possibly be asked to spend more money on a system that was so expensive, came with a “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in- home service guarantee”, had already been replaced once, and now does not work. More silence. I asked if he would transfer me to a Manager and to please, PLEASE, not disconnect me. He told me that I was not going to get any further help from a manager, that this was “the policy”. I figured that perhaps Mr. Slurpee was having a bad day, and that perhaps if I spoke to someone else (perhaps the person who won the office lottery last night) that I could get the voice of reason. Mr. Slurpee did transfer me, and of course I was put on hold. After 11 minutes on hold I found myself talking with Ashwin, who would not admit to being a Manager, but did agree to talk to me. I explained my story, including my ownership of “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in- home service guarantee”, and that I was literally desperate for some help to get my dell computer up and running. This conversation only lasted 8 minutes and Ashwin assured me that there was no way he could help me without my supplying a credit card number. I was completely frustrated. I said “well, Ashwin who can I be connected to for a complaint?”. “Oh, that would be Customer Service”. I calmly asked if he could transfer me there. “sure” was his reply and that was the last I ever heard form Ashwin.
Ashwin had been successful in transferring me back to the main call in menu for Dell. Allow me to digress. When you call 1-800 DELL, you have a beginning menu- “select #1 for sales , select #2 for order status, Select #3 for Service, Select #4 if you are a corporate customer, select #5 for Customer Support, select pound if you would like to hear this menu again”. I had in effect been sent through a time machine that had placed me exactly where I had been four hours and 23 minutes earlier in the day. You can imagine that this unfortunate turn of events had spun me into a dimension of ticked-off that could only be described in words not fitting for a gentleman. I selected Customer Support and was put on hold for 9 minutes. A nice sounding lady with an unintellagble name asked me how she could help. I summoned every bit of restraint I was capable of and politely asked to be connected with the person within customer support who deals with “extremely dissatisfied customers”. There was a pause,” sir could you repeat that?” “Sure, could you connect me with the person within customer support who deals with “extremely dissatisfied customers”? I could tell she was pondering this a bit. “We really don’t have anything like that”. Although I doubted that, I spent some time explaining my dilemma. She suggested that she could transfer me back the Advanced Software Group, but I declined. I want to talk to the person who could hear me out and fix my problem, which was now more than a broken computer, it now included the unbelievable concept that a company (with a straight face no less) could charge for providing phone advice on how to fix its’ own broken products—phone service that had clearly been totally unsuccessful over the previous 6 months. VERY reluctantly Ms. Unintelligable- name agreed to transfer me, which sent me back to the start up menu ““select #1 for sales , select #2 for order status, Select #3 for Service, ………. Safe to say I was fit to be tied. So again, I selected #5 for Customer Support, was placed on hold for 8 minutes and was connected another person with an uninteligible name that again sent me to the main menu, I tried one more time (did I mention how stubborn I am when I’m mad). I noticed that each time I was transferred, the line got less and less audible, this last conversation sounded like we were using Campbells soup cans with a string between them. I was put on hold, waited 12 minutes and was connected to “we’re sorry please call again” which I think was a recording, but I’m still not sure.
Well, despite all this, I tried yet again (did I tell you I’m stubborn?). After being on hold for not too long (maybe 7 minutes) I was connected to my new friend at Dell, Rosen. He was clear to tell me that he was only an “admin”, and would need to transfer me. No problem. I waited on hold some more and got to my new friend at Dell, Ashley. Now keep in mind, I’m working on my fifth consecutive hour on the phone with my friends from Dell and had made no progress. “Going Postal” was a distinct possibility. Abdul ought to thank his lucky starts he didn’t inadvertently knock on my door at that moment. I liked him, but it wouldn’t have mattered. Ashley informed me that she was in “Customer Care” (interesting choice of words), and asked if she could help. “ Are you the person I should speak to about “extremely dissatisfied customers” I asked as politely as I could. She didn’t ask for a repeat, she clearly heard me well. She dodged the question a bit and asked what she could help me with? I went through my story, including the software situation. She didn’t think anything could be done, she was familiar with the policy. I asked if I could speak to her manager, expecting some resistance. Much to my surprised I got “sure, no problem”. I was uncharachteristically connected immediately to my new friend at Dell, Pete. He listened to my spiel, gave me the same story as Ashley, and after which I asked to be connected to his manager. He pushed back quite a bit and put me on hold. I figured he had to warn someone about what was coming. I was connected to my very bestest of friends at Dell, Vinnie (I promise, I am not making any of these names up).. I told him my saga, he unfortunately stayed the company line and insisted there was nothing more that could be done. I asked to speak to his manager. He said there was “no higher management at Dell that could resolve this”. “You have no manager—you don’t work for somebody?”. In mechanical fashion, he repeated the line “there is no higher management at Dell that could resolve this”. We went back and forth as to wether he had a manger, and why I couldn’t talk to this person. I reiterated several times that I had a very expensive computer, had purchased a “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in home service guarantee”, had spent innumerable hours on the phone with Dell and my computer still would not work. Silence…. I went on, “so what you are telling me, Vinnie, is this- despite the expense I have incurred , the time I have invested, the only way Dell would be able to make this computer functional was to give Dell yet more money so I could talk to the software service, for a problem which really doesn’t look or smell like a software issue”? No silence this time I got a resounding “yes’ from Vinnie. I asked him if that sounded fair to him? Silence…. This time I tried the silent treatment and clammed up. There was silence on the phone for what seemed like a solid minute. I finally heard from Vinnie “I’m sorry Mr. Leahy, I don’t think this issue can be resolved”….click
What?
Was that a click?
The same type of click one hears when you hang up on a telemarketer who calls at dinner time?
It was. My friends at Dell had hung up on me. Hmmm. I thought, friends don’t hang up on one another, perhaps I was not as good a friend as I thought. I was in a very weird place after the hang up. Normally I would have seen myself spinning into a torrent of anger. I would have expected me to call Dell again and again, until I somehow managed to talk directly to Michael Dell.
I didn’t.
I was beat.
I actually thought rationally. It was very clear that Dell had neither the ability or the desire to get it’s product back up and running. They were willing to let go of a previously loyal customer. I went online to look up Dell to see if others had had issues with Dell. What an awakening!! I found entire websites (not just blogs) set up with furious activity, devoted to uncovering the levels of poor customer service that others had encountered. I found several examples of folks who had experiences similar to mine. Boy, I thought, I wish I had seen this before I bought my XP2010 complete with the “extended platinum-graphite bumper to bumper in home service guarantee”.
Chapter Four: Call the Doctor
Shortly after my conversation with Vinnie at Dell ended un-ceremoniously, my family complained of being hungry for dinner. My “negotiations” with Vinnie and his employees had disrupted my kitchen enough such that no one in my family was willing to venture into the room, thus there was no dinner to be had. I agreed to get some take out. I arrived at our favorite sandwich shop and while I waited for my order to be packed up, I saw a small container of blue business cards on the counter. As I looked closer I saw “the PC M.D., service for your computer”. I grabbed one. When I got home my family cautiously asked me how things went with Dell. I informed them that I was “done with Dell”, they couldn’t help me but that I had a “plan B’. I was going to call a Doctor. I’m sure my wife thought that the doctor would be a psychologist, mainly for me. But I showed them the blue business card. They appeared unsure. I told them that I would much rather give any more money needed to fix our computer to a local business, that Dell would NEVER get another nickel from me. I’d throw the computer out before I’d contribute to Dell’s profits.
I called the PC M.D. and spoke to a nice young fellow. He asked me to describe the problem for him. He said that he lived in the next town over and could be at my house the following evening. Right on time the PC M.D arrived at my doorstep. It turns out he worked days as an IT engineer for a large company in the area, and had recently set up an after- hours service business of his own. He seemed very trustworthy and knowledgable. He quickly determined that I had an active warranty with Dell, and that I ought to call them before paying him. I thanked him for his honesty and then told him my story, and that I was “done” with Dell. He nodded knowingly and said something to the effect of “I get a lot of business because of their service”. After working with my XPS2010 for a bit he came to the conclusion that the system had some serious problems, probably best corrected at his home. He took my computer back with him. The following day he sent me an e-mail explaining what he had found so far and that he’d need another day to finish the job. On the third day after taking my computer he returned to my house, started up my computer, synched it with my internet service and home network. It ran great. The keyboard worked. The mouse worked. There was no blue screen of death when I access my second hard drive. He even went and did some maintenance on the second computer my son uses, vastly increasing its’ speed. He charged me $150 for two service calls to my home and the work he had done back at his home. I couldn’t be happier. As for my issues with Dell… you may recall that “my friends” at Dell were convinced that the issue was a software problem which would require me to pay a time based rate for them to assist me in fixing their problem. The problem was NOT a software issue. The primary problem involved the fact that the second hard drive on the system (keep in mind this was the “fully tested” refurbished, replacement system) had been set up with 6 or 7 partitions for some unexplained reason causing confusion for the system when it looked for files in the drive. In addition, the drivers for the keyboard and mouse had become corrupted. The refurbished computer had clearly not been tested prior to sending to me. The previous owner had obviously hosed up the hard drive and passed the problem on to me.
On my now- running computer I decided to do some research. I wondered if I was the only person to have such bad luck getting help from Dell. It turns out I am not. There are websites (not just blogs, but fully functioning, very active websites) that exist only to collect the information on the poor service that Dell is now (unfortunately) known for. My favorite is called “DELLHELL”. I decided that I would write my sad story and contribute it wherever I could in the hopes that some other poor sap like me didn’t fall into the same trap. I can only hope.